Bongiorno!

Ok, so nothing really excited has happened lately, so I have nothing good to say, besides that I bought a new pair of shoes and I can't take them off. They are a pair of Vans, with really a really tripy design. My mom says they make her dizzy and that she'll take them to the store and paint them when I'm not looking but I love them! But since I can't write about my shoes, because that's just shallow, I'll write about what's coming up and why I might take a while before I update again. Also there are some fun news in the making...

So, in a few days I'm heading back to school. I don't really want to leave, but I have a feeling this time it won't be as hard as last time. I think we're all realizing that this is bound to happen and that it is coming to an end soon, I mean I have only 4 more semesters left in school and then there's this HUGE question mark looming in my future. But that will be solved soon, I hope. I just need to get my act together and figure out exactly what I want of life... I make it sound easy. But anyway, back to the subject, yeah, I'm leaving and starting my third year at Woo! It looks like a fun year in the making and I hope my bad luck is finally ending because it will suck otherwise. Drama will probably ensue, but hey, it's life as sucky at that is. Overall I'm excited and a little nervous about it all. But I'll do my best to write every so often and order my thought, my apologies in advance for any one who stumbles with this.

Second news that might be fun. My dad got offered to do the Honduran version of "Dancing with the Stars"! LOL!!! It's a laugh in the house, like we're all saying he should do it, but I think we all want to see what crazy thing he'll come up with if he does. He says he doesn't want to do it because he's going to make a fool of himself and because he has no rhythm. Well, that's part of the point of this thing, isn't it? Famous people, in Honduras' case people that appear on the news every so often, making a fool of themselves and trying to win over everyone. I really hope he does it, not only would he have a really good chance to do something good, but he'll have fun and my mother and I will get a couple of laughs from it... LOL!

Two in a day, I must be on a row!

Two posts today, you must be thinking I have lots on my mind or something like that, but not really. I sort of cheated with the other. I started writing it a long time ago and didn't really finished until now. But this one is brand new!

Ok, so I'm a week away from school, and guess what? I don't want to leave. Well parts of me want to, because I want to see my friends and stuff, but even that part is having it's doubts... It's all the drama of last semester, taking it toll on me. I decided I won't give myself out completely this time around, I must keep something of me for myself and learn to be selfish for a while. It's the only way to keep my sanity sort of intact. It will be hard, but it's fair... And I also decided, and it pains me so much to say this, to grow up. At least try. Being childish and making fun of everything else is cool and all, but so far it has only brought me grief and heartache, and I can't take that anymore. I guess it's like impossible for me to stop joking around and being goofy every so often. But at least I can learn new jokes or something... We'll see.

The Squanda and the Ziggurat!

Anyone who stumbles across with this blog is going to wonder what the heck is a Squanda, and what's so special about it that I had to name my blog the way I did. Well, let me explain. The Squanda is a mythical animal invented by my friend B. and me. It came to be a night at her country house when we were sitting by the fire discussing Harry Potter fan fiction or something of the sort, the things that really mattered to us back in the day. Anyway, I don't really remember the story behind it but it ended with a "ship" that included a panda and the Hogwarts squid and their little offspring called the Squanda and something about revenge on Voldy. We later created a whole set of animals like this that went from a centaur with a human to a phoenix with a parrot. We were odd kids, no need to hide it, but we had a blast.

Around that same time we invented another strange concept while studying ancient Mesopotamia and their buildings. Turns out they created these pyramidal temples that were called Ziggurats. All hell broke loose after that. A funny name and two overly excited 14 year olds... Well we decided this was a good battle cry or something like the "GERONIMO!" She even illustrated it a couple of times, to my delight and joy. And I'm supposed to be the older one...

Anyway, this post isn't really about the squanda, as much I love it. It's about B. These past few days I've been missing her like crazy. Her parents came over last night for paella and a couple of nights ago I went to see her dad's expo on Honduras, and all I could think was "Darn I miss her!" She really has seen me at my best and my worse and is still there with me every step of the way. And I'm really sorry for not being as good of friend, but she's always on my mind somewhere. Even if something silly like the ziggurat or the squanda. Gracias por todo, B.

Once again...

So once again I completely forgot I had a blog and stopped bloging. That's until I was talking to B. and I remembered about it... So updates:

1. Got back from Spain a week ago. I'm still tired and jetlagged, but getting ready for the other trip (back to school). This year, for a change, I'm actually excited to go back... Maybe in a couple of days I'll be regretting this, but this looks like a promising year, even with all the drama that was last semester and the shift in relationships it caused. But it looks like it's going to be fun. EKOs (my sorority) are living in a house with another sorority, Zetas. Historically there hasn't been an actual relationship with them, beyond a couple of girls from each group being friendly, but it could be good for our popularity and the way the campus sees us... I'll probably write about it once I'm living it, if I remember...

2. Spain won the world cup, YAY! Finally, it was a crazy party there after the match. And we went to celebrate by a fountain, unfortunately I had to go to Pays Basque after and they don't enjoy being Spain very much. But I got to enjoy it anyway.

3. I hate death, but that was a known fact... My mom's godmother died a couple of days and it was horribly sad, because she was basically alone most of her life, with the apparition of friends and family every so often. But she had a horrible character that kept people at bay most of the time. Never married or had kids, but lived a full life, despite her physical and even mental limitations. She will be missed... But her death lead me to realize something, I really hate funerals. Specially the part where they lower the person that died to the ground or slide them into the mausoleum and you realize you'll never see that person again, at least not while you are alive or ever if you don't believe in such a thing as the after life. It sucks.

4. Also I hate cancer with a passion, not only for taking this great woman, but also for threatening my grandmother. She was recently diagnosed with bone marrow cancer, and while I know that's probably the last thing that will take my grandma away from us, I know it will make her life hard in her last years of life. And it's not like she can get a chemo or something like that because it wouldn't work for anything. She's 86 and has a plethora of sicknesses. Chemo would just add to her misery and increase her pain. I decided I'll leave it all in God's hands, he knows what he is doing, and that I just have to be ready for anything, mentally and spiritually.

5. As part of the toughening up I promised myself to do, I'm starting to reevaluate my relations with others and thinking about friends and if they are really friends or if they are worth me worrying for them, when I know they might not really care about me. And I realized that with this reevaluation, in Honduras I only have the grand total of 4 real friends, and two don't even live here. I mean, the others haven't even tried to contact me, even if they know I'm here and I don't feel comfortable contacting them because they all have their lives and mine is sort of paused right now. Like they all have school, work, significant others going on, and that's not bad, but I want to see them more than just once. I'm starting to doubt friendships, even if I'm to blame as well because I haven't been keeping in touch with them. Damn Sagittarius character and my "ADD" that make me focus on what's going on in my closest surrounding and forget about about those who are far and I don't see as often. I'm trying to change I swear, but they don't make it easy. And then they blame me, and that just makes me angry... I really need to start controlling that as well.

6. I wear glasses now and have shorter hair... Nothing to say here, really. Just that I was diagnosed with hipermetropia and I always wanted to have Rihanna's hair cut.

7. I love Assassin's Creed 2 and I think I might have developed a crush of sorts on Ezio... Damn Italians get me every time.

8. And talking about crushes, there's a def new crush on this amazing guy called David Gandy. Totally drool and so many other things worthy. Gorgeous blue eyes, tall, dark, and really handsome, with a body that can kill me... If only real guys, as in not gay guys that you get to meet in your everyday life, were like that. Or maybe they are, we just don't notice.

Those are all the updates I can think of. But I have a horrible headache right now that makes thought process almost impossible beyond what I wrote. Maybe tomorrow I'll come up with something new and I'll remember to write here more often.

Begging of Week 2

After a pretty uneventful weekend I'm back. I realize I'll write stuff as long as I have the tab of the blog open, so it's been open and I haven't forgotten about it. No fretting! So, like I said, I had a pretty uneventful weekend. Quite boring actually, the only highlight was that I had to teach Math. I love the subject, I really do, but I hate teaching it! It's just so frustrating to know everything that's going on and not being able to come with the right words to explain it, and making everyone around you understand. But well, my students didn't really help... They were my brother and my cousin, and year after year I try teaching my brother, but he always fails, so mayhaps my technique has been failing. We'll see how he does this year, hopefully he passed with the grade he needed.
Another interesting thing that happened this weekend, actually today, is that my grandmother decided to go to Europe a couple of days ago, and is currently on her way there. She's 80-ish years old and while this trip is a really bad idea, overall, it is commendable that the old lady still wants to go to Europe. And even more than she has the mental strength, probably not physical though, to plan a trip like this amazing! I mean, I'll be doing a slightly lighter version of that same trip in a couple of days, and I'm dreading the whole thing. And I'm 20! My mother and the rest of my family are going crazy with the bad planing and the trip itself, but I can't help to laugh and hope the best for my grandma on her travels.

Keeping Promises and Football

So I said I was going to blog everyday until it becomes a habit, and that's what I'm doing. In a normal person's eyes nothing too overly exciting happened today, but they were exciting happenings for me. First I was out all the morning, went to the store and it wasn't that horrible, because I had stuff to do. Then I went to the mall, just to the bank and supermarket and then to Mickey D's to get some fries and then came back to my house. My brother came from school, and he went to his SAT classes (stupid if you ask me) and then I went to pick him up. We had Chinese and then I talked to one of my sorority sisters, who I miss like crazy. Also I found an amazing song that I can't stop singing...

But this is not a diary, so I should not discuss my day to day activities... But I guess that's what I promised in the description... Whatever, I'm going to talk about the World Cup. I can't wait! I'm so excited, it's not even funny. I finished my online album today, and it's the only thing people talk about here, so it just all helps build up the expectation. Obviously I'm supporting my two countries in it, even if the odds of Honduras going far are very slim, but one can still hope... I trust Spain will make it far, but my dad doesn't agree (he is a pessimist). But like I always say, we'll see, we'll see.

Fail... And Ponderings

Once again I failed, rather horribly, at keeping a blogg... I suck at this... But now I'm going to try once again to write everyday, so beware of really boring entries over the next few days.

Anyway, updates in my life... Let me see. A lot has happened since I last wrote this. First off, I finished my second year at Wooster and now I'm a rising junior. To be completely honest, I'm freaking out about this. Second of all, I joined a sorority, which is a little shocking because I'm not the sorority type, at all, but I can't bring myself to regret the decision, at all. I love it, and I love the girls I can now call my sisters. Third, it's been almost a year since the last post, and this year was probably one of the worst of my life so far. First semester was alright, but second semester... Well, it was rough. I don't know what's up with me and spring semesters, but they are always bad ideas. But I made it through, almost without any bruises but with new knowledge about myself and my image to those around me, and it was quite interesting. Fourth, and probably most important, I made new friends that I hope will last a life time, but we'll see how that goes.

I want to touch on the perception of my persona part for a bit, because, as always, I am being very vague. Turns out that the fact that I have strong convictions about how things should be in this world, and also a pretty strong set of morals, hinders people from telling me important things... When I was told this it hurt, a lot. I didn't know how to react or what to say other than saying sorry. But then I came to realize I can't be sorry for that, and while I'm still at a loss of how to react to this or what to do, my roommate's words start to make sense "People are ashamed of their actions, and they think you'll judge them because of your strong morals." This statement led me to another question, do I want to give up my morals and my sense of right and wrong to gain these peoples' trust in these particular matters (boys and whatnot)? The answer scares me, even if it shouldn't. I can't stop believing something is right or wrong only because I want to be part of someone's life, I already changed far too much of myself for them to change this one thing I know in my very core is true. The people that told me this are important to me, they are the closest to me and I want to be part of their lives, in every way they would allow me to be, don't get me wrong, but what they seem to imply with this comment... I don't know.